Friday, February 22, 2013

Chronicles of a married life - II

So I am back with the Chronicles of a married life (read part one here) after almost six months, but this time, we are probably back for the party! What happened over these months? Oh, the usuals of a married life - him & me, me & him, us & the world. But, as he says, As long as you and I are together, everything else will fall in place. And fall they do, maybe not in the most perfect manner, but yes, hand in hand, it's more fun to fight life.

Over the past few weeks I have started observing couples, speaking to married friends. A few friends and I discussed the ups and the downs; some hilarious and some saddening. But the good part is, that we survive these. We survive the sad moments in life, because we have someone who never lets go.

That brings me to a recent fad. I say recent because I don't remember this happening when we were in the age group of 20-25. This age group seems to have a lot of relationship advices! So many! We, I remember, were more interested in making a career, dating, partying, slogging at work - the regular!
But now, it shouldn't surprise you if you see a 20 year old, in his/her second or third relationship, giving advices to a 17 year old. Dude, you are 20. You past relations didn't work and no one knows if this one will. Don't mislead the 17 year old, he'l grow up thinking he'l know it all when he reaches your age. Lol!

No, I shouldn't compare. We'd done our share of stupidity at that time. But, my point is, dating is not a relationship, per se. You meet in the morning, after putting on your best clothes and attitudes, spend the day together and go back home to eat the food your maa cooked with the money your dad earned (or vice versa). Yes, you are in a relationship, you are learning about it. But you have not mastered it, kids.

Deal with finances, each other's habits, each other's families (or worse, the extended families), deal with their pet peeves, deal with their snoring, deal with everything there is about the person you are married to - and believe me, while it's not sooo difficult, it's not a cake walk either! 

Men (read: young boys) believe that they sacrifice more in a relationship and women (read: young girls) believe it's they who give up the most. As a girl, I too have believed that I am sacrificing more, be it in past relationships or in this marriage. But the magic in marriage is, you spend so much time with each other, you start noticing your partner's silent sacrifices. This, will probably require an entire blogpost, so yes, later.

All in all, a relationship can be 50-50, but a marriage HAS to be 100-100. Please step into it only if you can. Only if you are willing.

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