Friday, January 11, 2013

That frown looks better upside down!

Pic courtesy: Google
~ Sameer More

"^&*%#%$..jab dekho tab happy happy, smiling smiling! Kabhi 2 minute ke liye udaas nahi hota kya tu life mein?" - this was what one of my friends said to me a couple of days ago while we were catching up after a long time. His logic being, that because it was hardly a month since the one I loved got married to someone else, I should be keeping a semi-permanent glum expression on my face or at least be moping around. And here I was, cheerfully asking him what he was up to, and pulling his leg about how his wife makes him clean cupboards on weekends. Blasphemy! Sacrilege! <insert favourite exclamation>!

Well, clearly we have a problem here. How the hell can I be happy when one of my biggest dreams has been shipwrecked? Why am I not metamorphosing into Devdas for some weeks at least? Right? No - that someone expects such a visible demonstration of grief is the real issue here. Why do some (make that many) people so sincerely  believe that you can't feel grief unless you keep expressing it explicitly, and that trying to seek happiness when you are going through hard times is lulling yourself into disbelief, and hence, should not be done? I don't have a clear answer -  I can only try and say why this is not how things work for me.

You may have read this somewhere - "Happiness is a choice that we make for ourselves". I believe in a slightly modified version - "Trying to stay happy is a choice we must make for ourselves." Whether or not it will result in happiness is something that we cannot always guarantee, but that should not stop us from trying. I would not philosophize this by going on and on about how happiness is a state of mind, and how we can force ourselves to at least feel happy when we find it difficult to be happy. Just ask this simple question to yourself - who benefits if you feel happy? Who goes down in the dumps when you keep looking at the clouds instead of the silver linings? Yes, you got it right.

It certainly won't be easy to keep a happy face when you are feeling blue inside, and you will almost feel like you are having a split personality. But then just because your heart is facing troubles, its not necessary that your face follows suit.  Like I read just now ~ Aawaaz bhi zakhmi ho dil ke saath,  zaroori to nahi...Humne aksar deewaano ko chupchaap sisakte dekha hai...

If you have seen Kungfu Panda, I am sure you remember the Secret Ingredient Soup and the Dragon Scroll. In both cases, their secret was the same - nothing. What made them really special was the belief people had in them. Similarly, the secret to overcoming sadness and staying happy is nothing, except pure, stubborn belief. A belief that I will overcome whatever hits me, that I will get up just one more time than I am knocked down. 

Now comes the big question - How the hell do I do this? Here, I am going to smile beatifically at you just like Master Oogway did, and hand you the Dragon Scroll. Agreed, it is blank, and won't give you a step-by-step guide to walking back to happiness. But then, THAT is its true magic - it puts the magic in YOU - where it is needed most. :) 

And at the risk of sounding cornier than a kernel, I am going to say this - Try and force yourself to be happy if necessary. Kar ke dekhiye, achha lagta hai :)

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Someone who revels in the world of words, and finds great joy in expressing himself on paper, Sameer write software for a living, though the pull of prose keeps getting him back to the keyboard every now and then. 
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Catch up with this absolute peach of a person on twitter at @SampireBytes and read his blog here

7 comments:

  1. I loved reading this post because i learnt something valuable, i drew strength.. because i am in a similar situation like yours.. so the next time the blues strike, i will remember this post and learn to deal with it in a positive manner.

    Thank you... this post has been a joy to read!

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  2. Lovely! Such positivity is rare! :)

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  3. Hey

    ur post radiates such positivity that it should be circulated to all those people who behave silly when love doesn't treat them right. I have seen so much of it on the blogospehere as well...unlimited sad shayari, emotional blogs(I wonder if they send the links to their Ex)...and then I recall something I read once...
    Someone who cares for u will never make u cry. And the one who does is not worth it!
    Good post Samarpita!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Shaivi! The post is by a guest blogger and a friend, Sameer.
      I do agree with you, in fact I was thinking, the next time I see or read someone crying over a lost love, I will urge them to read this post. Inspiring, not only in this situation but for most of us when we let small setbacks push us back.

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  4. This was a beautiful post Samarpita and Sameer. Could not agree more and wish I could pass it on to some people who could really do with a shot of such positivity. Very well said!!

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  5. Thanks a ton, everyone!
    It feels damn good when appreciation like this comes your way.
    I hope what I wrote here helps you in some manner somewhere down the line.
    Cheers,
    Sameer

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